Our Gratitude Jar

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Last year we started a new tradition, a Gratitude Jar. Throughout the year we stuffed different bits and pieces inside the jar with the intention of opening it on New Year’s Eve. That didn’t happen. But we did open it one afternoon in early January.

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The idea was to remember all the good times we had shared the previous twelve months. It was a lot of fun to sit down together and go through it. Race bibs from the first ever 5km race my husband and son ran. The coaster my son’s alcoholic beverage sat on on his 19th birthday (legal drinking age here). My daughter’s campground maps. The receipt from my Donald Maass writing workshop. Etc, etc, etc.

New Fireplace 003Now it’s empty and sitting on the counter waiting to be filled with another year of memories.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.  Melody Beattie

What was one of your favorite experiences from 2013?

Decorating in Discontent

Confidence-1I hate when that happens and I’m usually pretty good at not going there. But the last couple of days I did just that. It’s time to come back from the dark side. Because it does lead to darkness. You start to question your commitment. Worse your abilities, and it’s all downhill from there. Before you know it you’re wallowing. It’s lowering to admit. I don’t want to be the person who gives into jealousy and it’s poisonous head games. That’s when I knew I had to nip this shit in the bud.

First order of business. Figure out what’s making me crazy. I’m in the midst of a writing challenge. Not NaNo but within my own small writing group. My goal is to write a 1000 words a day. By no means an impossible task. I’m two-thirds of the way through. Writing first drafts always make me in turns euphoric and cranky. Add to that, I’m impatient to get to the revising/rewriting part of the process. I love revising. But writing the last third of a story, tying up all those lovely threads, pushing towards the end, makes me double crazy. And doubtful I’ll find a resolution that doesn’t completely suck. Cue my lurking insecurities.

So what do I do? I go to Goodreads. I visited the other day and was checking out new-to-me authors and looking for something to read. Because that’s what you do when you’re doing your level best to avoid your own writing. Found a couple of books I thought looked promising with 20,000 ratings and 2,000+ reviews each. When I checked further I found neither one of the stories were for me. <delete> There I saved you from my rant on selfish, abusive heroes.

That’s when jealousy moved in, signed a lease, and decorated in discontent.

I hate when that happens. It makes me feel small and petty. Not to mention unproductive. And unhappy. That’s when I have to start asking questions. Like what’s really wrong? Because it’s not poor Goodreads fault. And people like the books they like, end of story. They don’t need any more reasons than that to talk about the ones they loved reading. We’re as unique as the stories we prefer.

stress

So, lesson learned? Writing first drafts stress me out. What should I do to avoid more stress? Perhaps this is the month to reread a book. One of my favorites and an old friend. One I know will not only soothe my battered brain but inspire me. And I’ll try to remember I’m not trying to find a cure for cancer and stop taking myself so seriously. Sheesh. I’ll take a walk. Get some fresh air. I’ll choose to be positive and productive.

Three of my favorite writers are Tara Janzen, Suzanne Brockmann, and Nora Roberts. How about you? Do you reread books? Think of them as old friends? What do you do to keep from stressing out?

I Can’t Resist a Craft Show

Coldstream Pottery

Coldstream Pottery

 

This past weekend saw my Mom and I schlepping our hinnies down the aisles of the annual Best To You Arts and Craft Sale. Three and half hours later we were tired, hungry, and peopled out. But also productive. I was on a mission and I think I scored some pretty good stuff. I’d much rather shop for Christmas gifts at a craft show then the mall despite the noise and the crowds.

But you always have to get a little something for yourself, as a reward for…something. Things I always watch for:

Pottery mugs with a hint of blue in them.

I collect handcrafted Christmas tree ornaments.

My special find were wooden vintage picture postcards from Cedar Mountain Studios. I thought they would make a wonderful future giveaway.

Maybe you’re not a craft sale junkie. Maybe you’re a crafter? Or DIYer? Maybe you just like to look at crafts others have made on Pinterest? Me too. You can find me there too!

Today is also the first day of my writing group, The Saskatchewan Romance Writers, November Writing Challenge. Yay! Can’t wait to finish this story. We report our ups and downs on Facebook. We cheer each other on to whatever goal we’ve chosen. Mine is a 1000 words a day until the story is finished. I’m about two/thirds of the way through and struggling away at what is the hardest part of any story to write, for me anyway. The time where some things are wrapped up, some things are only started to be revealed, and your stringing others out. The hero and heroine are indulging in their need for each other and navigating new found feelings blissfully unaware of what’s coming at them.

Which means I’m going to need some new music. So after as a reward for 1000 words written I’ll be heading to iTunes to see what inspires me for tomorrow and the day after. Right now I’m listening to Aaron Lines and The Lights of My Hometown. It’s working my fictional small prairie town of Aspen Lake is calling and scenes need to be written.

Yep, I love what I do.

Happy writing! If you’re not writing, then happy reading! If it’s neither of those two, then press on and enjoy the hell out of whatever it is you’re doing! And remember to reward yourself and add to your precious collections when you’re able.

 

Emotional Force and Donald Maass with a Cameo from Steve

Josh's 19th and Donald Maass 003This last weekend I attended a Donald Maass workshop. To say I was excited about meeting him, but also learning about his writing philosophies, is putting it mildly. A one day workshop for which two other writers and I traveled from one province to another for a total of eight hours of driving each way. Also, the members of the Calgary Association of the Romance Writers of America (CaRWA) rock! They were friendly and open and picked the most beautiful spot to host a writing workshop. We spent the day at the foot of the Rocky Mountains with the sun shining and the scent of cedar in the air.

No doubt, the man is inspiring. My head is full of ideas and a new or reinforced way of looking at character.

But the drive there, the time spent discussing writing with three other writing buddies, was also full of awesomeness. If laughing takes years off your life, I definitely lengthened my lifespan. Note: It’s hard to drive when you’re laughing so hard you’re crying. OMGosh. Also, what are three writers unconcerned about while driving to a Donald Maass writing workshop? How much gas is in the gas tank. Sheesh. We coasted into a acreage just off the highway hoping for a miracle. Thank goodness for Everyday Heroes like Steve, who gave us his last litre of premium gas. He also offered to rescue us if that last bit of gas was not enough to get us to the next gas station.

A Tiny Look Into a Donald Maass Workshop

This workshop was based on Maass’s latest craft book, Writing 21st Century Fiction, High Impact Techniques For Exceptional Storytelling. In it he shares his thoughts on the future of fiction, genre fiction in particular which he suggests is dying. That the New York Times stats suggest newer genre transcending novels, such as The Help and Water For Elephants are enjoying far more than their share of weeks on the list. Genre fiction appears there but for far shorter amounts of time. One to four weeks versus 60 weeks or longer. The reason? There are a few of them but one of them is:

The Emotional Impact of Captivating Characters

We spent a fair bit of time learning about creating captivating characters. Okay, most of the day. Indeed, the very first thing we had to do was identify the feeling we were most afraid to put down on paper. The idea is to tap into deep emotion and create from there. Then we had to think of a spot to inject this feeling into our main character. Also  the concept of conflicting wants within a character.

He used the example of a college student writing final exams. You are reaching your goal, on the cusp of getting that degree you’ve struggled and worked hard for. Are you excited about all the study and work that has to go into writing these final tests? No. You’d rather be anywhere else then taking those final steps. Simplistic example, yes. But you get the idea.

There should be a war going on inside your character. What do they want most? What is the cost of getting it? If you’re familiar with Maass’s WTBN Workbook you’re familiar with his ideas on conflicting desires or feelings. On inner conflict. Tension of Every Page. In Writing 21st Century Fiction he spends a lot of time on: micro-tension.

My notes on writing emotionally:

  • skip expected emotional experience
  • don’t write what we think we should
  • stir readers’ hearts by being utterly and completely honest
  • wake them up
  • grab them in a personal way by being true

The only way to do this is to write from a personal place. To take experiences of extreme emotion and apply them to our writing. Do not write safe. This way readers will not get what they expect but what is true and comes from a deeply personal and conflicted internal space. Write personally and make heart to heart connections. Answer the hard questions. Even if, or especially if, it casts a harsh light on the main character.

To have the greatest emotional impact you have to get out of your own way. Use feelings of shame and fear. Tap into insecurities. Figure out a character’s deepest, darkest secret. This is why we wrote down the place we were most afraid to go in our stories. You don’t want to go there? Too bad. You need to be able to take your characters there in an authentic and true way. You need to be able to create an intense emotional landscape for your characters. You need to be able to write that into a character’s inner journey.

Don’t worry I’m not going to ask you to reveal your greatest fears but to simply say if you have a chance to attend a workshop by Donald Maass take it. However, feel free to share the names of books you’ve read lately that transcend genre? That move past the  literary typecasting of dull and depressing?

I’ll share mine: Before You Go To Sleep by SJ Watson.

For The Love of Birds

My daughter loves birds! When I found this game at Chapters I knew we had to buy it. As my daughter has special needs, finding the right game can be a challenge. This one is perfect and we love to play it.

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We love to take care of and watch our feathered friends. And with spring kind, sorta, inching it’s way forward, we’re waiting anxiously for the return of many of them.

A bird is three things:

Feathers, flight and song,

And feathers are the least of these. 

Margorie Allen Seiffert, The Shining Bird

 

The Perfectionism Trap

Submission for Off The Grid is in the hands of my lovely editor at The Wild Rose Press. Whew! It’s a romantic suspense (of course) and takes place in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. In an area called the Downtown Eastside which is notorious for being Canada’s poorest postal code. It’s the first book of my West Coast Trilogy. I’ve very excited about this story so fingers crossed.

My initial intention was to write a short story. Then it stretched into a novella. It now stands just shy of 60,000 words. And I’m good with it. And now I want to attempt to write it into a trilogy. I don’t what it is about a set of three books that I love, but I do. I’m not big on reading series. I get to about, well, book four and stop.

But I want to give the idea of a trilogy a go. So I have plans for two more books: Off The Ledge, and Off The Streets. Even though the idea scares the beejeebers out of me because…what if I fail. What if I can’t do it. What if I can’t make it right? Or weave the threads together? Or? Or? Or in other words, make it perfect?

But luckily inspiration came my way while I was editing Off The Grid. I read on a blog post by Kristen Lamb: 10 Ways for an ADD Writer to be OOH! SHINY!…Productive. I didn’t need to get past the picture to discover my new mantra.

The world doesn’t reward perfectionists; it rewards finishers. Kristen Lamb

It just so happens that Writer Unboxed has post today titled Good Enough by M.J. Rose about conquering perfectionism.

If we allow ourselves to remain at the mercy of our desire for perfection, not only will the perfect elude us, so will the good.” – Alex Lickerman, M.D. in Happiness in this World

The Harvard Business Review: How To Escape Perfectionism.

But the world doesn’t reward perfection. It rewards productivity. And productivity can only be achieved through imperfection. Make a decision. Follow through. Learn from the outcome. Repeat over and over and over again. It’s the scientific method of trial and error. Only by wading through the imperfect can we begin to achieve glimpses of the perfect.

check out The Feel Good Lifestyle blog and Pia Savoie’s post on From Perfection to Action: 5 Simple Tips to (Finally) Free Yourself from Perfectionism.

The allure of perfection is like a mirage. It cannot be achieved, because there is no final destination.

I’m going to work on the letting go of perfect when it comes to my writing. To strive for quality, but not at the expense of finishing. To try new approaches. To stretch my wings. To help others reach their dreams.

To imperfection.

To honesty.

To effort.

Rocky Mountain Inspiration

Easter and Calgary 2013 025We spent a lovely, lively four days with my sister, brother-in-law and two nephews in Calgary, Alberta, last week. Alberta is the neighboring province to our west. We also took a little  with a side trip to the picturesque town of Banff located in the Rocky Mountains that divide Alberta and British Columbia.

How’s that for a geography lesson? A teacher I am not. That’s my sister! She’s also a foodie. So we ate very well while we were there. Porridge with a variety of toppings for breakfast, homemade tomato for lunch, trout for dinner. Lawd, it was delicious. Good company and good food make for good times!

My husband and I lived in Calgary for four years after we were first married. We loved it there, but it just wasn’t where we were meant to live. I love my wide open prairies and my small city. But I still enjoy going back to the mountains and we hadn’t been there for far too long. Writers gain inspiration from all kinds of settings. But there’s something about being surrounded by the majesty of the Rocky Mountains that stirs the creative juices. For a romantic suspense writer the possibilities are endless. Every setting comes with it’s own dangers. With it’s own storms. It’s own extremes. Own challenges. There are high divides, passes and alpine lakes here. Variations in weather and season. These mountains are home to moose, bighorn sheep, mountain lions, black bears, and others from butterflies to eagles. It is a rich environment to draw from.

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What settings inspire you? Have a favorite book set in the midst of a mountain range? Do you pick books because of setting?

Because of Something Margaret Atwood Retweeted

Sometimes you read something that moves you and your first instinct is to share it with others. And sometimes you hesitate to share the incredible thing you just read. And then I thought those feelings of hesitation are the reasons I must share.

Sam Ambreem

She’s a ranter not a writer.

He Said (TW)

After all, people have a right to make up their own minds.

January 26th was Human Library Day

Check out a human book.

Oh my gosh, who could resist? Not me. Thank you Twitter for the heads up.

This past Saturday was my city’s first ever attempt at Human Library Day. It was hosted by the CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation) and libraries across the country.

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Real people. Real Conversations.

I love conversating. In person. With flesh and blood people. Who talk back. Where you can gauge how they’re feeling without needing emoticons. All you had to do was register, either online or in person the day of the event. Friendly volunteers in red t-shirts were there to greet you and help you out. The ‘human books’ were spread throughout the various floors of our downtown library, in nooks and crannies or small private rooms, perfect spots for some quiet and informative conversation.

Perfect for writers, information junkies, or anyone with questions to ask the interesting and varied group of people kind enough to share their lives and career choices with the list of books who had volunteered to sit and chat. Among them a Forensic Firearms and Toolmark Examiner, a STARS pilot, a STARS flight nurse, and a grassroots organizer. I saw the list of ‘books’ and was swamped with a flood of story ideas. It was like Christmas morning.

With stories of a terminal cancer diagnosis, the loss of a dream because of a violent domestic attack, people were there to share their stories, change perceptions, and tackle stereotypes. They were there to make a difference in their community. To share their experiences.

“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view…until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.”  spoken as Atticus Finch in Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird

I ‘checked out’ a divorce lawyer. (Let me assure everyone it was for research purposes only.) The hero in one of my work-in-progress is a Family Law Attorney. I had questions. Needed to know I was on the right path with his views and ideals. We also talked about what her day is like, how much time she spends in court, and the misconceptions she faces. We talked about the importance of mediation and collaborative law when dealing with “good people at their worst”. As opposed to being a criminal lawyer who deals with “bad people at their best”.

All that in fifteen minutes.

So, if you had the opportunity to ask anyone a few questions which ‘human book’ would you check out? I think I’d like to talk to a member of the Hell’s Angels. Can you even imagine? I’m never gonna be able to shut my brain off now.

Are We Happy Yet?

Camping makes me happy!

Our September book club pick was a departure from the norm for us. We read The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, Or, Why I spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun. Her words, not mine. We usually read fiction. I can’t say as I’m a fan of self-help books or non-fiction, but it was interesting to delve into the idea of being purposefully happy.

I mean, hey, who doesn’t want to be happy? Or happier, as the case may be. I didn’t finish it (which means I pay a $10 fine to the pot), but it was an awful lot of information to take in. It was a twelve month project for the author and each month she created a list of resolutions she wanted to work on. Daunting. Yes. Yet, it did raise some interesting questions. And I learned happiness according to Gretchen Rubin takes a lot of work. I’ll enjoy finishing this book, I found Rubin’s voice and style to be appealing and very easy to relate to.

“Happiness depends upon ourselves.”  Aristotle

This I know to be fact. However, sometimes it takes me a couple of think-throughs to realize I’m unhappy because of my own state of mind. It’s so easy and simple to set the blame elsewhere. On the state of the economy. Or the price of peas.  But really, I’ve got to look at what’s happening with me to figure out why I might be ‘off’. You know, a little on the sour side.

“Act the way I want to feel.” One of Rubin’s Twelve Commandments

I actually found this advice to be helpful. If you want to be happy, act happy. And it makes sense, right? Smile more. What’s that saying? It’s the second best thing you can do with your lips. Be happy for someone else. Laugh. Watch The Big Bang Theory. That always works for me. Work at at.

Howard: Are you planning on kidnapping a woman?
Sheldon: Sarcasm?
Howard: Yes, but mixed with genuine concern.

I mean, come on, how can you not find that hysterical?

“There is no duty we underrate so much as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson

Five Little Things That Make Me Happy! Because it doesn’t have to be complicated, it just has to be mindful.

  1. Pretty flowers.
  2. Fresh peaches.
  3. Sitting around a backyard fire.
  4. Autumn leaves.
  5. Cuddled in a fuzzy blanket.

“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.” James Openheim

Oh, one more thing.

6. Chocolate Flavored Vodka. (As with all good things:best used in moderation.)

How about you? What five little things make you happy?